Going Home

Sooooo I am going home today :( It feels so weird that I am, it doesn't feel right!! I have been at my boyfies for over a month and I am used to it, I have a routine and I am settled in and used to sleeping next to him every night and waking up next to him every morning and I won't be able to do that any more :( I feel so terribly sad, I cried last night, I will probably cry a lot today. I have to leave his house in 3 hours and I really don't want to, I want to stay here, screw college! But I can't, I have to carry on with college and try and get decent A Levels. It just feels so wrong going back now, this feels like my home, and I don't want to leave. I will be terribly sad for a while most probably as this is the longest I have stayed at my boyfies in a while and it feels like I am ripping myself apart going home. Home. What is home? Home is where the heart is right? But my heart is with my boyfie :( How can I leave my heart and carry on with life. I am sure I will find away but its going to suck. HARD. I won't see him till the end of October, and then only for a week. Its coming on now to 4 and a half years together and we have been doing this for four and a half years. It has to be time to stop moving up and down now and stay in one place? I wish I could, but if I didn't go home I would let a lot of people down, upset people and piss people off. And I am scared of doing that but my heart tells me screw them, your boyfie is the most important person. And he is, but I just can't stay, we'd both get into trouble. It hurts and it won't go away :(

Sorry for emo post